Here's To Exes lol

Ok so its almost been a  month since me and Zach ended and I'm not over him still bleh :/. But someone else I've decided to bring back into my life is my son's father. He is very grateful and looks forward to meeting him and is currently engaged. This shouldn't bother me but it does idk I cant help but care but another part of me whenever he mentions if we got back to together feels like my stomach is turning every which way. Maybe I'm just supposed to stay single for now :/. I just really like being in a relationship. I felt like me and Zach had a great relationship with amazing times and got along so well but then I also think if everything was perfect cut n dry we wouldnt've fought all the time and we did we had a new fight practically every 2 weeks if not every week. I admit I ruined us in the beginning of moving to North Carolina mistakenly thinking that he was going to tell his sister in law everything about us that I did and just be judged or pulled aside by her blindsided and I hated when that happened. But I didn't trust our relationship enough to tell him that how I felt until the damage was done it was 3 months in we were pulled separate he was sleeping in the living room me in the bedroom as I was pregnant. When I finally opened up and told him it was fixed we started to interact again and put us back together. We were cemented after my son was born on January 7th we didnt have one single fight and visiting hours were 1 hr usually so it was just me him and the baby hes not the father but he played the role well and loved him as his own. Along with this came a job for him also though and with him not home during the day anymore me and the baby stayed in the room and this created a conflict among us with his sister in law with us not getting to know each other but me and Zach both were tired of how his sister in law treated a lot of things so it was just time to leave. I just thought coming back to Iowa would be perfect to make us a family all living together and everything but still the fights stayed and I have no idea why he also said he didnt know either. I now have to look back on that relationship as not meant to be and look towards the future it's just hard to see him happy he has a gf and is moved on and "I'm out in the cold" with me and Dallas. Maybe I will feel better when I have I bf I yearned for Zach for so long just for the relationship to fail it just sucks I wish it was the one I hate a broken heart and trying to put it back together I'm just glad I have my son he makes everyday a little more worth living :) <3 p="">