Sigh....

Um well a lots gone down since my last post prolly from way before back when school got out. Well put your hands together ladies and gents I am no longer a virgin and I've done it three times. Now 3 cheers for the idiot who let him not wear a condom just so he was comfortable oh and how bout another one for her letting him cum inside her and promising to get an abortion. I never wanted this to happen I mean actually ya i did I really did wanna have sex and with someone who was a non-virgin so that came true but god the not wearing a condom part ugh why?!? but w.e. my bed now i gotta lie in it idk if I'm pregnant and too early to see if my period is a skip so that's up the air right now. I like no I really do love that I'm not a virgin anymore cause to be honest I have wanted to have sex for a long while now. I just didn't want there to be an accident because prior to most people's beliefs I am for abortion. I believe it's the right of the person who's pregnant to make the choice with the child unborn. To me that baby doesn't exist until it is in the mothers hand after 9 months or less or more. Sorry if you don't feel the same but I do and my views will stay that way till its proved otherwise to me. What really sucks though is that the people who I know could help me through it I cant tell because they wont be for my decision (if there even is one) and they will judge and maybe even never talk to me again. This is why I'm kinda glad that this girl who kinda used to be one of my best friends won't talk to me cause of this other thing. There's one guy that I can tell about this his name is Gerald he's really sweet and everything and he likes me but I've told him I just don't see him like that. I really feel like there's 2 other people I'd rather talk to about this but then again there's a problem with that. Anyways idk if u read my blog a lot but there's Devon and Steve. Steve to be honest he's been through an abortion before and if I were to tell him i went through with it and did that then he would never speak to me again and he'd lose all respect for me. Same for Devon he's never been through it but he has a strong opinion about it and isn't afraid to voice it so if the time comes, I've decided they will not know just as I haven't even informed them I had sex more than once. Actually after Devon found out that I had sex he got mad and refused to talk to me we just started talking about five days ago. Idk if I'm meant to have sex but I know for sure I'm not meant to have baby and I also refuse to carry it just to give it away that just idk that concept seems stupid to me so i wont even consider it. If I turn out to be pregnant the baby is to be terminated. I know this makes me a bitch but I wont even look back Ok this is a life that I do not want and I will not have and did not ask for so therefore I feel I have no obligation to it. Other than that great summer vacay nothing to do blah but anyways that's pretty much it                  ♥Cassidy♥