He Don't Love Me....It's Really Over

I wrote a poem about me and Zach I hope you like it...or not


He came from out of no where
I didn’t expect him to care
One night in November
of my facebook friends list he did become a member
He said hey
I said whats up and asked about his day
He told me it wasnt great
I somehow couldn’t see that he wanted to date
Days went by he didn’t log in
I figured it just happened again
Another boy who showed interest
just wanted to talk at best
But then one day I logged in and he claimed i saw you today
I thought about it and then had the nerve to say
You looked weird your not what I expected
I think he felt disrespected
Still when he got a phone he gave me his number
I saw it and pretended to slumber
Then one day I remember that day I decided to stop being a bitch
I texted him and he texted back we texted the whole night showing me i was being a witch
A few weeks later we went on a date
To the movies but we were late 
The movie was good we watched it all the way through
Kids did kick our chairs this is true
After the movie in the car we went to his spot
the windows steamed so the car mustve gotten hot
I was taken but I wanted him that whole night
but still I never put up a fight
It was like 2 days 
Till I changed my faithful ways
We got together in his car on Valentine’s
Man do I reget those times 
Those times when I had him he was mine and I let him go 
When I think about those times I’m at an all-time low
Anyways we made out and I found one dental flaw
He had to pick up his dad so I made up a lie that was raw
I couldn’t get over liking him and we still texted
even though over cheating on my ex i fretted
It only took one more hang with Zach
to figure out I needed to end my faithfulness lack
He broke up me in February soon after my birthday
I was devastated I didn’t know what to say
I sent Zach away and he went to Logan
The following Monday this lead to a trojan
Having sex with Zach the first time was rushed but I needed it 
We cuddled in his car in the next few hours and our candle of romance was now lit
It took him a week or so but he finally asked me
He asked me if his girlfriend I would be..
He really showed me what love is
Crazy to think it all started with a kiss
We had crazy times in my room
All it did was help our relationship bloom
He surprised me when he picked me up
Especially since I can only pick up my pup
But there were times he went away
He went to Logan every weekend as he may
We fought about this quite a few times
Still it never opened my eyes
Thats not all we fought about which caused us strife
There was also a lot about me and my prior life
It ripped at our relationship
It was really bad we started to tip
Somehow we stayed afloat
but I knew deep down he still wanted to find a safety boat
Months flew by we were happy as can be
A breakup in our future I did not see
It was a dumb test I gave him
But with it our light went dim
We solved it but the crack still remained
For both of us it still rained
In June it was decided he was going on vacation
A week after he’d been there it turned to a staycation
He called and ended it 
And that’s the end the candle of us is no longer lit

Goin it Alone Now

Whats it feel like to have your whole world crashing down around you? It feels like tonight it feels a lot like tonight. Tonight I found out the person I trusted the most in the world I can't trust to have my back or even understand me or anything. I'm just done my mom and me were done at least I'm done telling her anything important. So my brother comes home and threatens me for telling my mom's husband about a possible drug dealing leading a threat for him getting kicked out. Well mom told Mike to back off and everything so I was like good and stayed to myself. But then after she went home I was in the kitchen and I overheard her make a phone call to the husband and she made Mike the victim! She also claimed that anything I tell him he will believe and she doesn't even have to talk to him because I tell him everything before she even has a chance to tell him. Wow this frustrated me but since I was spying I wasn't about to go all ape shit on her ass and then after she got the husband to say he'd call Mike and apologize for accusing him I was walking away and grabbed a water. Well then not even 3m later I heard her be like so yah Mike he's going to call and apologize and blah blah blah so I again went to go spy. In this convo she actually told Mike if he's gonna do anything to go back far enough in the woods so it cudnt be detected and pretty much not get caught by little miss tattle tale me. I'm so mad I've trusted her with everything, everything about pretty much all guys in my life prior to and before Zach and that's just really fucked up that she plays it like that. Well I hope she enjoys me while I'm here this shit is like done I'm not telling her anything secret I'm not telling her if I meet anyone she will be my goto for work and school and that is it. If I have any suspicions about Mike they will stay to myself. I just I can't even believe she would throw me under the bus like that apparently in her books we're only bffs when it suits her and when it doesn't anymore for the night then its like screw me and cover her ass. Well fuck that she can tell Mike, her husband, and whoever the hell else she wants to not to believe me I won't say shit to them or her. My business will stay mine and she can just go fuckin jump off a bridge for all I care Christmas can't come fast enough I need to get out of here this place sucks more than usual. I just have suspicions about pot smoking so I tell the truth and it makes me a tattle tale what the fuck ever senior year get over fast I'm done with this bullshit I'm ready to get away from my family who needs em anyways besides my sister she's usually on my side :). You know people say it's hard to go it alone I guess it's time to find out...but anyways thanks for listening whoevers out there more of my life drama next time on Cassidy's World Turns lol brothers suck sisters keep shining :)                                                                                                  ♥ Cassidy ♥

FUCKING MORNINGS U SUCK

Fucking Pissed OFF like no joke for real dude my fuck landlord is fuckin coming over at 8 in the morning and pounding the shit out of fuckin shit in the duplex next to me because of my old neighbors who fuckin destroyed it in there so hes putting new walls, a new bathroom, and whatever the fuck else needs replaced in that fuckin house!!!! I would like to take this time to say fuckin thank you old neighbors who fuckin looked like jesus and had some kind of fucked up motel running there having like fuckin 20 people staying the night at a time. THANK FUCKING YOU for destroying the house over there and making my landlord wake me the fuck up every morning seriously guys THANK YOU !!!!! Ugh im so fucking pissed and hahaha the best part of this my ex knew them too so im gonna thank him too THANK YOU Zach for knowing these fucking LITERAL HOMEWRECKERS that are fuckin making me not able to sleep THANK FUCKING YOU!!! I have to work in like 35m  and I've had a total of 6 hours FUNNY thats how long i fucking work today too!!!! Oh and I would like to thank Gregg for not doing a fucking thing to tell the landlord not to do it next to my fucking room and just say oh he wont listen to me hes redoing that house he'll do what he wants...WELL THEANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH FOR DOING NOTHING AT ALL TO FUCKING MAKE HIM STOP I MEAN REALLY GREGG YOU'VE GOTTA BE MY FAVORITE PART OF THIS!!! MY FUCKING DAY IS NOW FUCKING RUINED SO THANK YOU KYLE AND THANK YOU ZACH AND THANK YOU PREVIOUS RENTERS AND THANK YOU GREGG!!!  I mean really I wouldnt've gotten here without you guys seriously it really helps me. Oh and an update on Zach hes going into the army infantry some shit like that so that era is just OVER GOOD LUCK ZACH TRY NOT TO FUCKING DIE OR DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT! Hey good news is with all this fucking anger my day can only go more downhill from here =)
                                                                                                                                         ♥ Cassidy ♥

Hmmm idk

So it's Saturday night and I'm just sittin here kinda bored. Maybe I wudnt be if i could finally learn to drive but mom keeps finding activities on our only available day to go and try to get the permit so idk how thats gonna happen. So I'm not in the best place to be talking to anyone lately cuz it's either that i talk to much or i ask too many questions except to my 2 bffs ashley and shilo theyre my girls right now. Shilo and me getting an apartment is actually my safety net if Zach lets go. She's all for it and hell why wudnt I be i get out of the house from my babied brother and the babier my mother. We used to be so so close and now I just feel like i cant trust her at all anymore she's just not the person to talk to. The one constant in my life right now is whenever there's a problem or something that happens to me all I think is I wanna tell Zach or I wanna talk to him about it. It's hard to stop depending on someone you're in love with but I have to figure out a way because all I'm doing is just holding on as he slips away into the darkness haha that was pretty good maybe I should try writing a story lol. One interesting thing was said by him last night tho i said he moved on and he said asking "I have" so maybe that's still there God i hope it is but who knows maybe he does see me like Nikki still like he did right after we broke up and hes just talking to me till he finds someone else idk i havent seen him in months now i find moments where im walking out of school and i think if he hadn't left he'd be right outside the door then walking beside me holding my hand asking me about my day taking me home then staying with me till 12 then going home and still texting me till i fall asleep and idk it just hurts a lot sometimes. Look at me being a baby crying my eyes out over just something i type im so lame sometimes that's prolly why all guys walk out of my life and just dont look back much at all i just get too attached and then someone pulls the rug out from under my feet and i land on my back wondering what just happened and lost.


♥ Cassidy ♥