Hmmm idk

So it's Saturday night and I'm just sittin here kinda bored. Maybe I wudnt be if i could finally learn to drive but mom keeps finding activities on our only available day to go and try to get the permit so idk how thats gonna happen. So I'm not in the best place to be talking to anyone lately cuz it's either that i talk to much or i ask too many questions except to my 2 bffs ashley and shilo theyre my girls right now. Shilo and me getting an apartment is actually my safety net if Zach lets go. She's all for it and hell why wudnt I be i get out of the house from my babied brother and the babier my mother. We used to be so so close and now I just feel like i cant trust her at all anymore she's just not the person to talk to. The one constant in my life right now is whenever there's a problem or something that happens to me all I think is I wanna tell Zach or I wanna talk to him about it. It's hard to stop depending on someone you're in love with but I have to figure out a way because all I'm doing is just holding on as he slips away into the darkness haha that was pretty good maybe I should try writing a story lol. One interesting thing was said by him last night tho i said he moved on and he said asking "I have" so maybe that's still there God i hope it is but who knows maybe he does see me like Nikki still like he did right after we broke up and hes just talking to me till he finds someone else idk i havent seen him in months now i find moments where im walking out of school and i think if he hadn't left he'd be right outside the door then walking beside me holding my hand asking me about my day taking me home then staying with me till 12 then going home and still texting me till i fall asleep and idk it just hurts a lot sometimes. Look at me being a baby crying my eyes out over just something i type im so lame sometimes that's prolly why all guys walk out of my life and just dont look back much at all i just get too attached and then someone pulls the rug out from under my feet and i land on my back wondering what just happened and lost.


♥ Cassidy ♥