This SUX

Ughhh ever since my sister failed at life my mom was gonna be all about making it about me and Mike. But once again it's all about Mike, he got the Droid X for his new phone upgrade and that keeps me from getting the phone I want. I hate him! She always treats him like he's the favorite kid like maybe we can do this Cassidy if MIKE doesn't wanna do this other thing. I hate it I always feel like I'm shoved to the backseat for everything and it sucks. I wish we got treated the same. He gets like everything that he wants always all the time. I know it's because my sister has pretty much made a mess at her life and she doesn't want the same to happen with Mike, but the real stupid part of it is that she's so desperate to make sure Mike succeeds, she doesn't realize that me, I, her daughter,, is falling through the cracks slowly and she forgets to even notice because she's so desperate to see Mike succeed. It's horrible like me and her can be talking about something as simple as how our days were and then he walks in and ALL her focus go to him. Then I walk out of the room and when he leaves that's when she comes back to say sorry to me. I'm always on the back burner for everything. As you should know if you've read my previous posts, this has happened for a lot throughout my life. I'm second best friend to Alyssa and Hannah, maybe not even second, I'm second choice for my own mother, and I'm second maybe more best choice to boys, the one that I really hate is that I'm second choice when it comes to picking between me and Gregg. It's going to be like this the rest of my life. No one will ever pick me first, just everyone and everything else. Maybe I should just stop competing cause I'm always gonna be knocked out of the game for life in anything I do.Oh btw mom just came in my room she said oh and you'll get your phone around say maybe labor day. What really sucks is that we called Verizon today and I found out it's not my phone and there's nothing they can do to help with Devon not getting my messages so there he goes too oh or at least when my phone wants him to. Idk I'm just done with dealing with crap in this life and to be honest it would just be easier if it all went away like i didnt even have to commit suicide, if someone would just come along and kill me and then maybe I'll be the first one missed so I'll finally win something :'(                       ♥Cassidy♥