So lots has happened and I'm very happy to say me and my ex are definitely not over yet and hopefully that yet isn't gonna be there. We decided that this summer I will go out to NC and possibly be staying if we decide that we are in fact going to be together. He says he's leaving like tomorrow so I guess it's back to same ole same ole boring place and no more wondering how he feels he feels like I feel we could be meant to be. This is amazing but I can't help but wonder what if he decides he doesn't wanna be with me and I waited 6 months to be rejected thats the sad part of all this but my fiend Ashley seems so think we're meant to be and she hasnt even met him yet so maybe I'm just doubting myself and I should stop because maybe he will take me back and somehow we will walk off into the sunset....he told me that he actually hasnt had sex since me can u believe it? I like was smiling so much when he told me that but I feel like if we were to have sex before he leaves that would just leave me wanting more and then realize after that he is gone and the best i will get for a while is maybe 5 texts from him then it'll go back to where he focuses on his life out there and doesn't want me just wants to work and enjoy his life. But then in June I will get on a plane that leads out there and I guess we will see. Days ago I have to admit this was all over I lost hope for us I was just a wounded puppy dog who lost her toy but when he told me that hes not totally over me that filled me with hope. Hope for the future hope for us just hope that we are not over and maybe we wont end. I look towards him being the love of my life ik its cliche but i believe it's true that he is. He came into my life unexpectedly and it just worked. Idk if he's afraid but I kinda feel he is I mean ik this trip was about another personal affair that had his full attention but the only time he hung out with me he caught me off guard and thats it thats the last time i go to see him this does make me think he's scared but maybe I'm not seeing something. Maybe he thinks I'm fragile or crazy or something and he's walking around on eggshells telling me he still likes me and he really dont but maybe he does maybe he loves me still and he couldn't get over me too. Idk i really enjoyed seeing him and talking to him and were permanantly friends on fb no more of that unfriending immature breakup stuff just occassionally checking out statuses and stuff but hopefully we'll be best friends forever and best friends make the best lovers haha just saying we made a great couple and i believe we can once again all we have to do is give it one more shot :) I'm ready this summer I hope he wants to too :) <3
♥ Cassidy ♥
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