So I dated Patrick again this time oooh ooh 3 days whooptidoodledingdong! He dumped me at 1:47 this morning he said "theres never a right time to say goodbye i will alwise love u" thats how he wrote it now if u look closely at those words you can see they've been classic songs at some point in time. I think it's lame he dumped me because I couldn't like stand up to my friend hannah for calling him shit but to be honest why i couldn't is because i knew that it was all true what she said. So back to the drawing board on my love life haha. Zach and me are also done in case ur wondering about that it had to do with nude pictures being sent its a big regret but u cant fix em all so I guess that's done at least for a while ;). I'd still wanna be with him cuz he's my boobear :P but if he don't hey thats his choice and like I said back to the drawing board. Hey I got a song for Patrick too since he gave me two songs haha ill give him the song "Another one Bites the Dust" :P I told Zach that I got dumped and all he could say was wow so idk maybe we are done I just hope not he's the best boyfriend I've had so far. I at some points of my life even see him as my soulmate. Crazy huh?! I'm a silly teenager who fell for her first love just didnt lose my virginity to him. The best sex we ever had was this one time in the dark and its said by some people if its not difficult to find someone or something in the dark then it's just meant to be so right now my love life is a sinking ship but who knows maybe I just havent found the buckets to scoop the water out and theyre yet to come I'll just have to see. So I'm really worried about this whole not being able to save money thing b/c if i dont get zach then I need an apartment here. Things suck at my house my brother annoys the fuck out of me and all I hear from mom is how well he's doing so if I could leave already I'd be on a plane and out there next paycheck b/c I think deep down what's making me and Zach have probs is distance it's not pictures, its not other guys or girls, its not even jealousy that his mom is out there its just me and him struggling to hold our breath in underwater distance and when that distance is broken. There'll be nothing holding us back from being together. I could be wrong but thats my view of things idk maybe he does just hate me and were done but to be honest i think all that needs to be done for fixing is breaking that distance because then see I dont think things bother us as much if were there to fix problems but with us having distance that makes it harder cuz we can't look in each other's eyes and know if they're sorry we cant hug them and feel if the passion is still there, we cant kiss each other's lips and feel the electrictity that shows that we never wanna lose that person. All we have is words and when there's more than that that's when u really find out if its over or if its fixable :) Thanksgiving I get to see him again and I swear on my mom's life that I'm gonna do my best to grab ahold of us again when he's here and if not i'll let go and just be friends and start looking for apartments out here....
♥Cassidy♥
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