Hmm... :'(

So my life isn't so great right now or say my love life isn't altho my family life isn't too much better. For starters I have a bit of a cold so that doesn't feel good at all. Tonight I was forced to really take a look at Zach and what's happening with us. It took me yesterday and today to put together the fact that him moving to North Carolina has actually made it so I'm not number one priority in his life and he is still the number one in mine. What really sucks for me is that I'm not even number two i think im anywhere from 10 and up.:( I just dont know what to do I wanna cry I think this guy could be my future and everything and it's just getting so hard idk how to do this. I'm thinking should I just say he moved he dont want you and you're just being pitied when he talks to you and if thats true to be honest I could feel like the dumbest person on the planet. He told me he's felt like I dont fit into his life since my last boyfriend but we only dated for five days i just idk i feel like i can never move him down from being a number one priority and it sucks because like i said I think in his life my number is like ten and on. I just I wanna know how to either fix it so I can be a number one or move him down cuz i just idk it doesn't seem like it's gonna work anymore hes changing so much :'(. He got 2 tattoos, he's prolly closer with his brother than me, hell idk he's probably back to being nice to his ex. I just idk i had this perfect plan. i would move out there when i graduate and then we'd be back together and he'd just idk be like waiting for me. Thats not very nice of me to want him to just pause his life and want me but i feel like my life is on resume and i can't stop thinking about how much i wanna be there with him. I just feel like when he sees me im just gonna be that girl he used to date and he'll be so changed he wont want me anymore and i can't shake this feeling that hes going to find someone else. I mean I want him to because I wanna see if he can get attached to someone like he did to me but it'll just sting a lot because my feelings are so strong for him. I would text him but idk me and him texting works about as well as us talking on the phone anymore. I love him so much I just feel like he doesnt feel a need to have me in his life anymore so idk what to do it just really hurts and I'm gonna stop typing now so i can stop crying i just wanted to get it all out there....thanks for listening haha... :'(
                                                                                ♥ Cassidy ♥